It looks something like this…you go on a date night, have a great evening with dinner and maybe a couple of drinks, great conversation, laughs and you are feeling loving and affectionate with your partner. As the evening starts to wind down, on the way home, something changes. You start thinking about what’s going to happen next. You start worrying, “it’s going to hurt”, “but I always say no”, “I miss sex with my partner that doesn’t hurt”, the affections and desire you had earlier starts to wane, you feel guilty, you no longer are in the mood. You feel torn and sad. Sometimes you try to power through and be there for your partner, sometimes you say no, either way you are left feeling sad, lonely in your pain, and frustrated. Sound familiar??
Nearly 3 out of 4 women will have painful intercourse some time in their lives. Painful sex, also called dyspareunia, can wreck havoc in your sexual relationship as well as your emotional state of mind. Women often find reasons to avoid any kind of physical contact to decrease the likelihood of pressure to engage in sexual intercourse because it is so painful. This not only leads to hurt feelings but leaves a void of emotional and physical intimacy in the relationship. Women often feel guilty, angry & hopeless, men often feel rejected, confused & frustrated. Not only are you missing mutual sexual intimacy and enjoyment, but your relationship begins to distance. It’s difficult to talk about, or you feel you have talked it to death. You have sought answers, but nothing has seemed to work. There are options for women who experience painful sex to rediscover an enjoyable sexual relationship. I should know, I experienced the same thing for 6 long years, I can certainly relate. Believe me, painful sex can be treated.
Because of my experiences, I have made it a priority to help other women, as I specialize in working with those who deal with painful sex and don’t know where to turn.
Men and women can both have pain during sex, but the majority of the time it happens to women. Sometimes it is only temporary, but many times it can be a long-term problem. This is when the relationship can either strengthen or end tragically. You can take control of the future of your relationship and regain the intimacy you both so desperately desire.
So what actually causes painful sex? There can be many causes to painful sex including vaginal dryness, vaginismus, vulvodynia, infection, endometriosis, cysts on ovaries, being pregnant, or menopause. It is always recommended you speak with your gynecologists to rule out a medical issue. Often sex has been painful in the past at one point, and fear of repeated pain increases anxiety and decreases your sexual responsiveness during foreplay and intercourse. This leads to a cycle of increased anxiety, sexual avoidance, eventual sexual activity that ends painfully. The cycle repeats and eventually your sexual desire dramatically decreases, your responsiveness to foreplay decreases & you avoid sex or even touching your partner. The good news is there is help available to regain your sexual desire and pleasure.
The last thing you want to do is to force yourself to have sex through the pain. It is very important to keep communication open in your relationship. As we grow and change so do our bodies and how our bodies respond to sex and foreplay. Change is a natural part of life, but painful sex doesn’t have to be. I am dedicated to helping couples rediscover fulfilling emotional and sexual intimacy through life’s changes and relationship stages. You and your relationship are worth it! Reach out for coaching and guidance at www. DrStacy.org or 1-561-899-7669. If you would like to read my book to get more ideas on intimacy and better sex, check out “Confessions & Lessons of a Sexpert” on Amazon. For a free e-copy download, go to www.DrStacyBook.com.
“My passion is helping you create yours!”
– Dr. Stacy
Dr. Stacy Friedman
5700 Lake Worth Road,Suite 110, Geenacres, FL 33467