WHY IS MY CHILD STRUGGLING? And what can I do about it?

By Renee Chillcott, LMHC
WHY IS MY CHILD STRUGGLINGIt’s an all-too-familiar story. Parents and their child(ren) sitting across the desk from me, hoping, searching, and desperate for guidance. Comments such as:
• “If it’s something he wants to do, he does it, if not, there’s a battle.”
• “He just needs to make better choices.”
• “I think it’s just a kid thing.”
• “I was the same way when I was his age and look how I turned out.”
•“He pays attention when it’s something he likes, such as video games.”
•“He’s just not liking school or getting along with the teacher.”
Typically, these children have been diagnosed by a teacher, pediatrician, psychiatrist or therapist and fall into one of these categories:
• ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
• ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)
• Bipolar Disorder
• Mood Disorder
• Learning Disorder
But is this really what’s going on? And is medication the only answer?
Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson calls the years between 5-12 the “Industrious” years.
He notes the following in 1959…
Industry (competence) vs. Inferiority
Children are at the stage (aged 5 to 12 yrs) where they will be learning to read and write, to do sums, to do things on their own. Teachers begin to take an important role in the child’s life as they teach the child specific skills.
It is at this stage that the child’s peer group will gain greater significance and will become a major source of the child’s self-esteem. The child now feels the need to win approval by demonstrating specific competencies that are valued by society, and begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments.
If children are encouraged and reinforced for their initiative, they begin to feel industrious and feel confident in their ability to achieve goals. If this initiative is not encouraged, if it is restricted by parents or teacher, then the child begins to feel inferior, doubting his own abilities and therefore may not reach his or her potential.
If the child cannot develop the specific skill they feel society is demanding (e.g. being athletic) then they may develop a sense of inferiority. Some failure may be necessary so that the child can develop some modesty. Yet again, a balance between competence and modesty is necessary. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of competence. (Simply Psychology, by Saul McLeod published 2008, updated 2013)
Although Erikson’s theories are from the late 50’s early 60’s, his insight and words of wisdom remain. However, today we are beginning to recognize that it’s not necessarily the restriction from parents and teachers that cause a disconnect in the fulfillment of this developmental stage, but rather a discord in their brain and/or body.
If your child has not begun speaking by age 4 or 5, then a speech delay diagnosis is made and intervention occurs to improve the situation. Similarly, if your child is not industrious and confident during this period of middle childhood (5-12 years old), they are medicated and told that there’s something wrong with them. Or worse, they are told that they are the problem and are not making good choices, which furthers the Inferiority Erikson speaks of.
As a Neurofeedback therapist, I see this inability to enjoy and be successful at school, trouble with peers, and chronic low self-esteem as a delay in functioning and is needing intervention. I look at what is going on inside their brain and body’s that is interfering with the child’s quest towards competence and then work hard to help correct the situation. By evaluating the child as a whole rather than just identifying behaviors checked off of a checklist, we can then treat the child as a whole, which they are.
Most diagnosis and treatment is done through an evaluation of symptoms. Symptoms such as:
• Always being on the go.
• Can’t sit still…anywhere.
• Impulsive behaviors or thoughts.
• Easily distracted.
• Not following directions.
• Requiring multiple re-directions.
• Oppositional, saying NO or refusing to work.
Erikson didn’t mention any of these diagnosis or symptoms when he was observing this developmental stage, yet so many kids suffer from an inability to achieve the Competence he speaks of.
SO WHAT COULD IT BE
AND WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?
The first step in helping your child is to identify what is delayed and where in the brain and body that may be coming from. In our office we will perform a clinical interview for a history and list of symptoms. Then, through a mix of experience, testing and reporting we can identify what is happening in the brain and in the body. Once identified, we use Neurofeedback and nutritional counseling as modalities for intervention.
WHAT IS NEUROFEEDBACK?
Neurofeedback, also known as EEG biofeedback, has been studied and practiced since the late 60’s.  Neurofeedback is exercise for your brain. It allows you to see the frequencies produced by different parts of your brain in real-time and then through visual and auditory feedback, teaches the brain to better regulate itself. Neurofeedback can be used to help detect, stimulate, and/or inhibit activity in the brain safely and without medication. It can help restore a wider “range of motion” in brain states, much like physical therapy does for the body.
While the client sits comfortably watching a movie or pictures appear on the screen (a calm and focused state), the EEG equipment measures the frequency or speed at which electrical activity moves in the areas where electrodes have been placed. This information is sent to the therapist’s computer. The therapist is then able to determine what frequencies are out of balance. For example, when the EEG shows that you are making too many “slow” or “sleepy” waves (delta/theta) or too many “fast” waves (high beta), the therapist adjusts a reward band to encourage more balanced activity. This encouragement or “reward” happens through visual recognition of the changes on the screen and the auditory reinforcement of “beeps”.
WHAT IS A BRAIN MAP OR QEEG (Quantitative EEG)?
The QEEG is a quantitative EEG. It’s also called a brain map and does just that…it gives us a map of what is going on with the entire brain at one time. We attach electrodes to the entire head, 19 spots, and then record the brain waves with eyes open for 5 minutes and with eyes closed for 10 minutes. This recording is then read and analyzed. We provide a summary of significant findings as well as a full report that shows the results of analyzing the data several different ways. The brain activity is not only compared by individual locations over the entire head, but we can also look at connections, symmetry, how different parts are communicating and all of this data is compared to a database of peers (same sex, handedness and age). It can help us see what areas need to be addressed more efficiently than just training spot by spot. We don’t always need this data to make improvements in symptoms but we do recommend it in certain situations. A QEEG can also be helpful information when diagnosing and/or trying to decide the best medication/supplement recommendations.
HOW DO I GET STARTED?
Getting started is easy, just give us a call. The Brain and Wellness Center staff will answer all of your questions, and help you get scheduled. If you are wondering what services are best for you? We can help determine that at the time of the intake, in a telephone consultation, or you can schedule a face to face consultation and see our facility. Call, email or message us today!
Brain and Wellness Center,
7301 W. Palmetto Park Rd., Suite 102A,
Boca Raton, FL 33433.
(561) 206-2706,
e-mail us at info@bocabraincenter.com,
or text us at (561) 206-2706
or visit our website at
www.BocaBrainCenter.com.

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